ARod Corp Was Buzzing Last Night

ARod on social media is meant to be him showing us a peek into his world and to humanize him to all of us. Literally none of that has happened, and he makes himself look more like a detached millionaire, but I LOVE every second of it.

Lets look at this picture for a second to see how hilarious it is. First he’s wearing a full suit after midnight in his home office. I get it that some people like suits but at least loosen the tie. The full suit makes this just look like an Instagram picture of a hot girl with the caption “OMG my bestie just caught me not looking” but it’s clear the picture was taken 100 times in perfect light and edited after the fact.

The next point of concern is that calendar. It’s 2016 and you have hundreds of millions of dollars. If you don’t want to keep you calendar on a computer/tablet/phone or all of the above, just have some assistant tell you where you need to be everyday. Hell, buy one of those Amazon Echo things and that will tell you. I can’t tell if the calendar is to make us think he’s super popular and has a lot of appointments so that we like him more or if it’s to make him seem like us regular folk. The last time Arod was “regular”, dry erase calendars were a technological marvel.

Lastly, the reason we’re supposedly in this office so late is to sign those baseballs. By my rough estimation, those 36 baseballs should take 2 minutes to sign. 2 minutes isn’t enough time to get caught by some staff member in a “candid” shot. Might as well just make the caption “Look, I sit at a desk like regular shlumbs too” and call a spade a spade. The people who hate you aren’t going to change their mind because of this picture Alex and the people who love you will love you more, but not for the reasons you want.

PS: I expect a guy of ARod’s wealth to have a better office and especially a better desk. The desk looks like a bullshit Ikea table.

PPS: NEED a logo shirt more than I need air.